Unexpected Lessons.

Today, as I took a "studying break".. I logged into my blog to write a little something :) which is the post below this one.

When I went to "view" my blog, after I published the post, I let A.D.D. get the best of me.. and hit "next blog" on the top of the page.. which just sends you to someone elses creative little page.. and so forth. I do this frequently, I like to see what other people blog about. I love to indulge in a stranger's thoughts.. people fascinate me.

But today, was DIFFERENT.

Normally, I come across all SORTS of blogs, about life, crafts, photography, family.. sometimes in languages I can't even read!

Why I titled this blog entry; Unexpected Lessons.

Let me back up for a moment, and talk about my thoughts lately.
As Jordan is now almost 33 weeks along in my belly...my mind races about what life will be like when he's here. Last night, I had a few dreams about giving birth to him, holding him, & just enjoying him.
So here's been my downer lately. I'm really sad that I can't work less and be basically, a stay home mom. I never want to be completely out of work.. simply because I love nursing, even though I often get frustrated at work, my job is rewarding, and being a nurse is a big part of who I am.
I get really upset over thinking about having to go to work, and be away from him. I haven't even offically met him yet and it breaks my heart. I have many friends, and family that are blessed with being stay home mom's... and I REALLLLLLYYY wonder... how people do it. We just simply have no idea how to afford it. I find myself getting mad when I think about it. (Not at others of course. Mad that I can't make it happen for my family). I hope to do whatever we can, for baby Jordan to be home with me, or daddy, as much as possible.
Even when I think about cutting back hours to stay home with him if I could find a way, I start to think about the long run... SAVINGS.. COLLEGE.. ect. These are things that are incredibly important and should be started right away! And how can they happen if we aren't both bringing in a full paycheck. I could go on, but you probably get the point.

Ok, so that's that. The sad truth of my thoughts lately. Which is hard to even put out there.

So back to where I was going with this....

When I hit the view next blog option... today, every single blog I came across, was about FAMILY and BABIES!!! I have never had this happen before. Usually it's a mixture of all sorts of things. I got lost in it for hours. I read blog after blog, of all sorts of new mommies, telling their stories of being a new mommy. I must have seen the title "mommyhood" 30 times.. :)
and all of them, ALL of them, were followed by happy stories. And a ton of adorable baby pictures. Some of them, really, really touched me. I came across several pages, of women's stories of infertility. One in particular stood out to me. Her and her husband tried invitro, 3 times. All of which were unsuccessful, one of which ended in an ectopic pregnancy, where she lost a fallopian tube. They were now told they had a 1% chance of conceiving, and gave up. However, she became pregnant. Naturally. And now is posting pictures, of her baby girl ultra sounds. I was amazed, and found myself smiling.

I read many stories... about "mommyhood" issues... one woman called her baby boy the "boobie banshee".. hahaha :)

Last night, I fell asleep praying. I don't even remember where I was in thought when I drifted off....

But I think coming across these blogs today, is a blessing, a lesson. I am to be GRATEFUL, that I am about to become a mom. I should not be so pessimistic to focus on the moments yet to come, that I assume will be frustrating. I should be nothing but happy and blissful, that I have been so blessed to carry a life inside of me :) & have such a wonderful husband, family, and friends all at my side.

For all of my mommy-friends that are reading this... I can't wait to join you :) In the journey, of mommy-hood...